life and living

what's that one thing we are running after? if all of it is just maya, why am i bothered about being upset, about putting on weight, about my appearance? and if it's just a play, like shakespeare puts it, why did i get a supporting role? and if previous karma determines my current state, what wrong/right did i do? what was i in my previous life? isnt it thougth provoking? it is said one settles old scores across births. but what fun would it be when you dont know why you are being nasty to a person without any apparent reason. and maybe even feel guilty about it in the current life. or if someone is just returning the favour by being good, but i feel immense gratitude towards him/her. imagine god's job of maintaining a record of debts raised and debts settled across births.

give up on eating?

how thin she has become. have you seen Kareena Kapoor in her latest movie? she looks as thin as a reed. suddenly her cheek bones are so much more prominent and the pout always posing. since i have seen her on screen and also her effect on vikas i am considering size zero seriously. fuelled by people around me i started mulling over the option of working out. gym. thats the answer to all my problems.

but then, it's her job to look thin. like it's my job to write. so i have to be extra cautious even while smsing. (now, is that a word?). anyway, so she is just doing her job, which is fine and i dont have to be bothered because someone somewhere is doing a good job.

i had brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce for lunch today.

long time no see

after such a long time i am blogging. blame it on the heavy flow of work. hopefully they take this into regard while considering my appraisal.
that brings me to appraisal. reminds me of school. infact, school report cards were more predictable. predictable in the sense that i knew what excuse i would give for low marks. but, you never know what resaon the HR will give for not so impressive appraisals. i mean, marks never depended on school's profit and loss. but what if they did? imagine the principal announcing, this year you wont get any marks because the new teacher has caused a dent in the school funds. or the Mumbai branch is not doing well, so we have to pretend that we are not doing well either. the more i think about the appraisal the more fidgety i get. so let's change the topic.
donno what else to talk about. catch you later.